You Raise Me Up

I would like to dedicate this song to my beloved grandma...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1_MydgRFZw&feature=related

...You Raise Me Up...
When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

***************************************************************************

Thanks for everything. I am glad that I have finally dreamt of you last night. You told me that you wanted to have some mooncake. I know you love mooncake and it means a lot to me as you left on the day before mooncake festival.

Po po~ I will miss you whenever I see a full moon.

May you rest in peace. Your advices, your teachings and everything would be always retained in my heart.

Love,
Kityee

I need to SPILL...

I have to say that I never once feel so in my life. It's my first time! I really have had enough! I need to give up!!! Yes, i am giving up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It causes me to have sleepless nights, restless days, saturated brain, pimple growing, etc.. What's even worse is that my menstruation goes really wrong since the semester commenced!

This is the sign of being stressed, right?

I seriously have no idea how to remember every single details provided in the notes. Not to say memorizing them, but being able to give one or two examples when it comes to answering questions in exam. There're like n processes in the notes that I need to take note of. How on earth am I going to remember one example for each process/ cycle? The worse part is each process is specific! (e.g. Initiation of transcription requires a specific transcription factor). Tonnes of abbreviation! How to remember???????

Feeling more and more stressed when I have been reading and revising but it ends up nothing goes into my brain. :(

Never feel so demotivating before!

:(

I am not happy! Anyone could hear me??

Argh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!

I do not want to be here anymore.

:(

R.I.P grandma

The day has finally come.
I knew it would happen.
Yes, I expected that and I was kinda calm when I was informed about this news.

It was during my recess week. Undecided, uncertain.. I was not sure if I should return home to pay my last respects. I had tests, assignments, projects awaiting me and they were all due in the following week. On top of that, I had such feelings not to accept the fact that you have left...

Been struggling... ... to return or not to...

Anyway, I am glad that I had made it for you. I see it as a relief for you since you suffered a lot. Rest in peace, grandma. You will always be remembered.

Those precious time that we had spent will remain as a great memory for me.

Life cycle

Everything on earth would have its end.

Plants, animals, natural resources, energy... and so do humans.

I study Science. I should understand this. Yes, I do. But..

I do not know. I really do not wish to wake up one day and realize that you have left us. That would be too sudden although I would have expected that.

Struggling.. to accept or not to? We have to.

I hope you could leave peacefully, if you have to. I will miss you!

:'(

Wisdom tooth

Wisdom tooth, the name sounds glam.

Wisdom tooth is named such a way for it usually grows from the age of 16-21 years old, which has been termed "the age of wisdom". It erupts improperly and it may become the breeding ground for bacteria, and the worst part is it can decay the neighbouring tooth!

I had one started growing since Form 6 and I have finally got it extracted in this year after my 21st birthday. Before the extraction, I was asked to take a X-ray image of my teeth. The dentist told me that the one on the right (which has been extracted) was quite visible. And, he also told me a bad news- the one on the left was very near to the gum. That means it will start growing SOON!

Yes, it starts growing now. :( Too bad, I don't wish to visit the dentist again for wisdom tooth extraction. The past experience was too suffering! I experienced non stop bleeding for 12 hours after the surgery and I couldn't eat for a week!

Wisdom tooth, I hate you! I seriously feel that you are stupid for you are useless and so insignificant!

Err.. Arghh!!!!!


Wisdom tooth! Please stop causing pain~

HATE double standard!

It's still considered the exam period as I have one paper left.

What drives me to study so hard for the upcoming paper would be the fact that, the day to return home is getting closer and closer. I have decided to return on the 8th May 2010.

There are so many bus services/ companies around but I chose Aeroline to travel instead. The primary reason is because alighting at the Mines would be nearer to my home. Ok, so i tried to book a ticket online. However, I noticed something with regard to the payment mode, as it only shows credit card and I don't have one. Without further hesitation, I called to ask them if they could accept debit card as well, but the number that is provided was not contactable at all. So, I wrote them an email regarding this matter. I urgently need to know as I need to plan to go there personally to purchase the bus ticket, if debit card was not accepted for online transaction.

Well, the following is my complaint to the company which illustrates what has happened. I seriously hate double standard, and no doubt, I have just called to scold them. Yes, I know it's kind of rude but it really drives me crazy! Nothing could stop me from going home! Ha, also, i learn the "scolding skills" from the customers that I have attended when I was working as a call center operator.

"Hi,

I understand that it may take some time to reply the customers' emails. Since it was quite urgent for me to find out the answer, I made calls to the so-called call center several times in a day. It was a total disappointment that the call center (+65 6258 8800) was not contactable at all. I started to wonder if the number is still valid.

Well, I called to another number (i.e. +65 6341 9338) this morning. I was pissed off by how the person attended my call. I asked the same question and guess what I got from her? "You try". What a "good" answer as I personally feel that customer service were to help customers by providing proper guidance but not an uncertain one.

Next, I have tried and found out that it actually works and have got my confirmation page printed. However, I just got this email from you that only credit card is accepted thus far, for online transaction. I am not used to online payment matters and I was totally in doubt.

Again, I called to this number (+65 6341 9338) and to verify if the booking that I have made earlier is still valid. And the staff who picked up the call said yes. So, I am curious to know how could an established company like you could have double standards regarding the same matter. It causes customers to feel unsecured and doubtful with two standards that are actually opposing one another.

I seriously hope that my travel would not be affected because this. I kindly hope that the company would look into this matter and would no longer provide us, the customers, with 2 standards.

Thank you for your attention.

Yours truly,
Lee"

Maybe it is just a small matter to you. But I would just want to freely express myself as I think this is something that they need to improve.

Till then, continue mugging.........

Mugging...

Final exams start in less than 3 days time. Gosh! I have been mugging these days but it seems that my brain is too small for all information. Ha, I am just going to read through and understand them, rather than memorize every single details. If brain power is correlated with age, then i gotta admit that...

I am really getting old!

Just found out that Jay is going to release his new album in May.. Wow.. I have been waiting for this since last year. Hope to listen to his new songs real soon. (:

Gotta return to books and notes. Jiayou, kityee!

Goethe's Faust

Well, Goethe's Faust is a play written by a German poet/ writer/ philosopher. It's divided into two parts.

Why am I suddenly having such an interest to read about this kind of classic literature? hehe.. I won't if I am not forced to. It's actually a presentation topic that has been assigned to us. And.. we are going to present it today.

Yeah.. So I will do my practice here. Not an oral one.. but just to show that I am able to explain things and present it to those who have never heard of it before.

Basically, we focus more on the first part of the play because we could find more information about it online. Well, the story begins when a devil has a wager with God to win the soul of Faust (the main character). The God, however, believes that if a person is rational, he will still be himself although he is misled by others. Even at the darkest side, that person will still be able to find his way back to the right path. Then, the devil transforms into a poodle and he follows Faust home. When Faust is discussing a sentence in the bible with his friends, the poodle transforms into a human-being like character. He then tells Faust that he will bring Faust to experience things that Faust has never seen before. Due to some benefits that Faust would gain from the Devil (e.g. ability to attain some knowledge that he is not good at), Faust agrees with the Devil and he signs the pact with the devil, with his own blood. {in fact, this will be explained by one of my group mates}

My parts begin here.. (from a romantic love story --> a tragedy at the end)
Well, after the agreement with the devil, Faust is given a magic potion which turns him into a handsome young man. Faust is having more confidence towards himself now. On one fine day, when he is walking with the devil on the street, he meets with Margaret. He falls in love with Margaret at the first sight. He then demands the Devil to procure her. What the Devil does is to attract her by jewelery. He puts a box of jewelery in her cabinet. Once Margaret discovers that, the innocent Margaret quickly brings it to her mum and finally they decide to donate it to the church. The first attempt has failed. The devil tries the second time. This time, instead of showing it to her mother, Margaret brings it to her neighbour, Martha.. Martha advises her to wear it and gives Faust an opportunity to meet with her. Later on, she gets to meet with Faust at the garden. She confesses her love to Faust. Faust then takes this opportunity to seduce her to sleep together. Margaret actually admits Faust to her room. But they face one problem, that is Margaret's mother is staying with her. In order not to let her mother knows about Faust, Margaret accepts Fasut's suggestion to give her mother a bottle of sleeping potion. Unfortunately, even Faust himself, doesn't know that the sleeping potion is actually poisonous and this is when the tragedy begins.

Later on, Margaret discovers that she is pregnant. She is quite worried about it because she is an unmarried woman. So she approaches Martha and discuss the problem with her. What a coincidence that her brother, Valentine, hears their conversation. He gets very angry with Faust and he challenges Faust for a duel. Eventually, Valentine is defeated and he is killed. After murdering Valentine, Faust runs away with the Devil.

Margaret feels that she is abandoned by Faust. Later, she drowns her new born baby as she feels that there's no hope for Faust to return to her. Due to that, she is found out and arrested for murdering the baby. She is then kept in the dungeon (the underground prison).

After having to know that Margaret is arrested, Faust requests the Devil to save Margaret from death. This shows that Faust still loves Margaret. The Devil gives the guards, again some sleeping potion and put them to sleep in order to get the key to save Margaret. However, Margaret is not convinced and both Faust and the Devil are forced to flee away. Anyway, Margaret's salvation is proven by voices from the above announcing that "she shall be saved". After the rescue, it comes to the end of the first part of the story.

Surprise!

Hehe.. I had an idea to celebrate my sister's coming birthday.

Oh well, since she came to singapore, we don't really have a proper celebration with her on her birthday. This time, since I am here too, my parents asked me to buy her a cake and have a simple celebration with her.

The surprise cannot be successful without the help of my brother in law. Well, I text to him in the midnight and told him about this plan. Lol.. :)

It turns out to be a success eventually. It was not really a proper plan but it was a good one! It was so funny that I went to their house without knowing that they were not home. I went down to the ground floor and tried to call her to "locate" her. It was so dramatic that she went up using another lift after I came down. Lol.. then, my brother in law called me and asked where was I. Later, we get into the lift and reached the "destination". There, my brother in law noticed that the house key was left in the car. Oh well.. again, it's like the storyline in HK drama that we normally watch. He pressed the door bell and I hide at a corner. When she opened the door, my brother in law said someone has come and...
"surprise!", I shouted.

hehe.. It was really a nice one! From that, I realised that sometime things will go on well and smoothly without our expectation or any early plans. Perhaps, when we are having any plan or idea, we don't plan every single details carefully. Leave some space; leave some flexibility for it to go on by itself and perhaps we'll be satisfied with the end result. And this may be another "surprise" that we have never expected!

I'm back..

I'm back in Singapore. What does it symbolize?
Well,
it's a brand new semester
it's time to learn something new and different from previous sem
it's the beginning of more and more suffering (not being negative, but it's the truth)
it's another time when I need to leave my comfort zone


I wish everything will go on well.
I wish it will be less suffering but more of an enjoyment.

Wishing everything and everyone will be fine. peace V

[new target in new sem --> study even harder, and smarter!]

Effort that I have put in.. for my sis' wedding

喜喜

12-12-2009

大喜日！ 哈。。。这天是我家第一次办喜事！ 那天是姐姐的大喜日。大概一个星期前，我已经回到KL。忙着帮忙准备一切，说真的那一整个星期比考试还要忙，每晚只睡5-6小时。。。

可喜的事，一切都已顺利过去。这次的经验，让我体会了很多，也上了宝贵的一课--人性多面看！ 哈哈。。只有家人（指的是家里的那6个人）才明白我这番sarcastic的言论。 LOL！

很多人问我：有一个陌生人成了家里一份子的感觉是怎样的。嗯，我想。。。一开始时， 感觉真的怪怪的。刚开始，觉得大家好像没什么交流；但，到新加坡后，相处时间也逐渐增加了，才发现，原来姐夫还蛮健谈的。 哈哈， 无论如何，只希望姐姐能终身美丽！

请注意: 华人传统习俗有时真的可以与奢侈画上等号。上头仪式祭神的东西也未免太多了吧！

遗憾的事。。。

12月5日：
我发动了个GATHERING。
怎知道缺席的人竟然是我！
对不起。。实在很抱歉！
个中发生了意外导致这次无法出席。 希望改次再与你们见面。。
姐妹们，真的很抱歉！

Finally.. exams ended..

30th November- was indeed a big day for me. I have finally finished all papers. yay! I really felt like screaming after the exam. It had given me nightmares and I have FINALLY got it over.
But then, after the exam, I felt extra lethargic. I seriously felt sleepy when the paper was collected as the exam ended at 7pm. Haha.. Since I have promised my friends to hang out after the exams, I just went out with them. We had dinner at Vivo.
After dinner, we went back at around 9 something and reached at 10pm. Well, my friends wanted to go clubbing. But there were only 2 of them if I was not counted in. They asked if I wanted to go. But I felt too sleepy to go out again. Plus, I don't think I would like clubbing although I have never been to any clubs before.

The next day itself, I went shopping at Orchard. What a coincidence when I found that my sister was in the same shopping mall when she called me. Well, then we met. I managed to walk on the street and see the Christmas decoration along the street. It's really NICE. Although it looks almost the same as last year's decoration, the difference lies on the way to enjoy these decoration. I was in a car last year when I went to Orchard, the most happening street during Christmas; I walked on the street and the feelings was totally different...
Here are some random photo I took... :)

Before the sky became dark..
After..
Really can't wait to celebrate Christmas.. But i'll be in Malaysia by that time.. I wish I could joined the crowd in the countdown and shout "MERRY CHRISTMAS" when it hits 12 am! Love christmas.. :)

Today's schedule:
1. To help my Singaporean friend to collect her report in the lab
2. To meet Caroline at Jurong
3. To hang out with Yu Lee and others to see fireworks at Vivo

Hey, I have left out the most important part, that is to clean up the room and pack my stuff. I will be back soon. Yeah! ;)

UpDaTe>>>>

Oh my God..

I know it, I have abandoned you for so long. I don't have time for you, my bloggie.. My apology to you.

Well, I have been really busy since the semester commenced. I have never felt so busy before, even STPM was not as busy. Reports, assignments, debates, presentations, projects, term papers, continual assessments, and finally exams. Well, it's a new challenge anyway. I like my current life as I gain something new everyday.

Sometimes I would feel that it's miserable to be here. Far away from home, far away from the loved ones... Loneliness is just too.. lonely......

Those who know me well should know that I am kind of an introvert, but I managed to make some friends from the same course and as well as from the hostel. At first, I felt that i had no buddies here. Now I realize that the problem actually came from me, as I would become antisocial when there are a lot of work to be done. I don't sleep late, so I can't afford to spend time socializing.. Perhaps it's time for a change. I would give it a try (starting from next sem).

NUS- It has been a dream for me to enter this prestigious university. I am glad that I came and am still here. No doubt, it's a really competitive and stressful environment. It needs high adaptability. I am still adapting to it and I hope I could finish my 8 semesters here.

My feelings towards it is indeed a mixture. And, sometimes I feel insulted. I talked to one guy before. Well, he's a Singaporean. Perhaps he was just too direct to tell this. According to him, he doesn't like "C" country people as they would pull the bell curve and "affect the market". Then, I asked him what does he think about us (Malaysian). He answered: "Never mind."

Well, I MIND what he has answered though I didn't appear to be so.

Hmm, one day, you will see how we manage to survive in this small island! No offense, but just wanna point out that we (esp. Malaysian Chinese) are tough! It's a matter of time to prove that. Time will tell~

Here are some photo taken in this new place. (photos of the hostel can be viewed in facebook)*my messy table during exams** I used to see this set up in books, but I could use it, and set it up by my own here*

*taken in one of the lecture theatres"
*Energy supply in the morning class. Well, these were given by Ms Wong during the last English class. She always treats us like small kids.. :)*

*Low blood pressure ...?*
*my "best friend" during the visit to library.. Hot milk tea*
*the view from my window. Nice?*
*taken during the last lecture of Biodiversity*

*kind of a "celebration" after the most fearful Chem paper*

Will definitely update more during the holidays.
(It's time to return to my boring history notes, last paper on 30th)

(to be continued...)

I shall not give up~

I do not know whether everyone in any universities will face such a hard time. For me, mine is miserable. I'm wondering why did people say that those who did STPM would find university life a piece of cake. I beg to differ.. it's equally tough, and it's tougher when i have to leave my family, to such a stressful environment for my degree.
I know that my dad has placed high hope on me, I shall not let him down. and, all the loans that await me. I shall never think of giving up. But, i really need some support from someone i feel important to support me. Will u be the one?
Quiz, test, assessment, assignment, project, lab report, etc... Maybe it's a challenge. A totally new challenge. I must go through it in order to succeed.. I want to be a scientist. I hope my dream would come true. My prof's words give me a lot of inspiration. He shared a story, a student of him has successfully became one of the researchers in the US and with a hope that she could help to save lives from breast cancer. She wrote this to my prof:
"I guess, at the end of the day, all the glamour and
publicity are meaningless. They are nice for a while
for the ego. The Nature paper few people will notice.
But what drives me and keeps me going is my belief
that I want to do good and make tomorrow’s world
better than today’s, for the next generation. To relief
pain and suffering and offer hope to the cancer
patients. So often, I want to hold their hands and
channel my best wishes to them, for being brave to go
on phase I clinical trials in which they know is not
likely going to benefit them, but perhaps, the next
generation."

-Dr Peng (the girl who was taught by this prof in NUS)

I wish i could be one like her, doing something to make the world a better place to live in. i shall not, should not, could not give up~

Recent updates (Malaysia-Singapore)

I’m on my way, leaving for Singapore, a place that I would be for at least 7 years. Well, I could feel that there’s a mixture of feelings in me. I feel excited to start a brand new life in NUS but at the same time, I feel sad as I’m leaving the place where I have been living in for so long. Well, after all, I wish my decision of leaving is not wrong. It’s the beginning of another stage in life. I’m leaving with a thought in my mind that I must succeed in life by the time I return! I’m motivated all of a sudden.. haha.. ;)

Anyone could guess if I cried when I left home?

As usual, the answer is yes. But this time, I think I am able to manage my emotions better than I was. Maybe it’s an indication that I have grown up?? Hmm.. lol.. crying is just a way to get relief from sadness or unhappiness. Okay, I’m going to stop for a while as I want to take a nap before I reach.

I was blogging in the bus when I was on my way to SG. On my way, I received a call from Raymond. He told me that it’s a weird day as two LKY(s) were leaving Malaysia. Haha.. ya, that’s true.. But don’t worry, both LKY will be back someday.

Well, I have to say that I really scared and phobia of entering Singapore Immigration Hall. It’s the third time I entered and three times out of three times I have to be stopped by someone. Haiz.. why is it so? I have no idea. It seems like I won’t return to Malaysia in short term as I’m really phobia of that immigration hall. Haha..

I have reached safely, finally. I was very excited to see where my room is. A helpful senior (forgot to ask his name) helped me to carry all my luggages to my room. I’m currently staying at Prince George’s Park Residence Block 1 Level 6 room L. Again, how fortunate I am to get the last room at the corner. It’s very near to washroom and kitchen. How nice! ;) After shifting all the luggages into the room, I went to have a look at where we can do laundry and other facilities here. Well, I have to clarify that the room is not as small as what I expected. It’s just nice for a person to stay. Open up the windows, there’re lots of trees in front of me that makes the room so much cooling. I cleaned the room as it was quite dirty. After settled down everything, I was extremely tired and fell asleep right after I bath. The mattress is a little hard and that probably caused me to have neck pain. And, one thing about this cluster is, I never saw anyone walking out of their rooms the entire night. It’s quiet and at the same time it causes me to feel lonely. The people here are not like the people I met in TARC hostel. We used to open the door and welcome our gang to join us in various activities (of course they are all legal activities ;) ) But people here always close their doors and seldom socialize with each other. Perhaps it’s just the beginning stage as everyone is still new here. And maybe I won’t feel that anymore when class has started and I’d be busy all the time.

(Sorry.. the shooting is not nice as i was using the webcam to capture the pics..)

The next morning, I went to Faculty of Science to attend their talks. After all, I felt that the bidding system is quite complicated and most of us were confused. I think I really need to spend more time to understand it in order to ensure that I can bid for necessary modules efficiently and be able to graduate in time. Well, when we were in the lecture theater, Prof Tan introduced us to a person from NUS high school who is only 16 years old and he has completed 12 modules in NUS. OMG! Just 3 words I can describe about him-- He’s a genius!!

I’m hoping for a better tomorrow. I must strive hard and must graduate in 4 years time. ;)

New direction in life >>

From the moment we got our UPU results, I knew that our new journey has started as everyone is heading to different directions. There we go to another new stage in life. Well, getting biology @ UPM. It was not really what I was hoping for even though it was in my list of choices. After considering for few days, I have made a decision that i would have to leave the offer and go for NUS! Singapore, a place which i will be for at least seven years. I really hope that this decision i have made is not wrong and praying hard for the best!
My sister who is doing her diploma in nursing at UM has told us how torturing it was during the one week orientation. All of a sudden, i felt that the decision of giving away the local uni offer is right. But if we view it from another point of view, the so-called 'torturing orientation' may be an 'early preparation' for the freshmen as they have to be well prepared to face all sorts of challenges including failure, difficulties, etc in their uni life. Somehow it's a good process for them to really grow up.
Uni life is going to start real soon. It's an excitement but at the same time there are worries. The next destiation would be a totally new environment for me. Everything is a new beginning. All I hope is everything goes well and being able to graduate! haha.. kind of pessimistic..
Just wanna wish everyone best of luck and enjoy uni life!

黄昏的美

很享受黄昏的美... ...
虽然短暂，但它的美永恒地锁进人们的脑海里。
今天的黄昏景色不错！ 我独自到庭院去欣赏。感觉很好，很美， 很舒服。
虽然尝试把眼前的一切给拍下，可是依然觉得眼前所见的才是最美！ 希望每天的黄昏景色都如此的美... ...